WEDDINGS CAN BE STRESSFUL.
Not only are weddings one of the most special days of your life but usually they also involve weeks and months of planning and, as such, the desire for everything to flow perfectly can be overwhelming. And when (not if) something goes wrong on the wedding day and that stress finally reaches the boiling point...then the famed "bridezilla" surfaces and things get crazy. But let's be honest here, stress-induced over-the-top frustration is definitely not limited to just the bride – I've seen a huge variety of otherwise calm people absolutely lose it on wedding days...and it's never a pretty sight.
BUT THIS STRESS CAN BE AVOIDED.
I've attended a lot of weddings in the past couple of years (no, Josh, really??). And while every wedding is different, I've realized that there are some foundational steps you can take to ensure that you enjoy and remember your day in all it's glory – even when things go wrong.
So, without further adieu, here are 5 ways to alleviate stress on your wedding day.
1. CREATE SPACE TO ENJOY THE MOMENTs
One of the easiest stress triggers is trying to move too quickly through a day.
So slow down.
Take time to breathe, grab some water, use the restroom, talk to friends and family...just enjoy your day! You want to walk out of your wedding day with a host of beautiful memories locked in your mind forever and you won't be able to do that if you're rushing around the whole day trying to get from one activity to the next. Plan space into your timeline so that you have time to simply relax and enjoy what you're actually there to do – celebrate your marriage!!
2. DELEGATE ALL RESPONSIBILITY
The last thing you want to be thinking about on your wedding day is who needs to be where and when, where the flowers need to go, when the cake is arriving, who needs to go find Grandpa for family photos, or what time you need to be ready for your first look. You've just spent months planning out all the logistics of how your day is going to go (and planning is great!) – but on wedding day, delegate all of those logistics so the only thing you have to think about is enjoying getting married!
If you try to manage the whole wedding yourself, you will lose yourself in the chaos and arrive at the end of your day stressed, worn out, and without having truly enjoyed and cherished the moments you've experienced. So step back, let other people execute the plan you've so diligently created, and enjoy watching your day unfold.
3. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES
It'd be amazing if weddings went exactly as planned, wouldn't it?? It'd make my job easier, that's for sure! But, the reality is – we live in an imperfect world and if one thing is guaranteed it's that something will go wrong on the wedding day. But here's the thing...it's okay.
So choose the battles you're willing to fight. If something is incredibly important to you, work with people to make sure it happens. But there are some things that ultimately don't matter...let them go and forget about them – years from now you won't remember that the place settings weren't absolutely perfect, that someone showed up a few minutes late, or that the sound guy played the wrong song for the pre-ceremony music.
4. UNDERSTAND EVERYONE IS HERE FOR YOU
I tell my couples this all the time. Because this is the easiest one to forget.
At the end of the day, nobody cares if the ceremony starts 5 minutes late. It doesn't matter if the flower girls decide to dump all the flowers at aisle 15 and don't have any left by the time they reach the front. No one is blaming you if it rains and you have to move the ceremony inside.
Because everyone is here for you.
Everyone drove for miles, took time out of their week, changed plans, probably got dressed up...for you. Everyone is here to support YOU, to help you kick off your marriage, to help you open the book on your new story with your new spouse. So don't bear the weight of trying to please all of your guests – your wedding day is about YOU and everyone in attendance is there for exactly that reason.
One final thing...
5. HIRE A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER ;)
I'm not kidding – this makes a huge difference on how your day plays out! And it's hard for me to talk about this without sounding a bit self-serving but, here's the deal...
I'm not asking you to hire ME.
Just hire someone who will help make your day amazing. Of everyone on your wedding day, the photographer is the only one who is with you from the moment you arrive till after the last sparkler has faded and you're off to the honeymoon. The photographer is the one who guides you through your day, helps keep things on track time-wise, manages rowdy family members, and just generally helps make your day flow as you want it to. But most importantly...
The photographer you choose will DETERMINE how you remember your day.
So...hire someone who understand you. Someone who relates to your personality and knows your story. Someone who understands that the day is not about photographs but about the memories those photographs capture. A photographer willing to do whatever it takes to make your day as stress-free and memory-filled as possible.
And if that's me, that's awesome. If not, I won't be offended!
Find someone who will help capture your day as you've planned it – and then sit back and watch the magic unfold.